Thursday, January 22, 2009

..Black Love..




I remember 2004. The last election year. I was beginning my senior year in high school and was witnessing the Vote or Die theme of the year. I wanted to be apart of it. I wanted to vote but my 18th birthday came 3 weeks too late. I wanted to vote, not because I believed John Kerry was going to be a better president. I wanted to vote because I, like the majority of the world, believed George Bush was a bad president during his first term. So, I watched the John kerry campaign. I saw Barack Obama's speech. I remember the next day going to school saying in my southern hood languistics, 'That nigga Obama or whatever his name, his speech was fir'. He's gonna be the next president, shawty. John Kerry cool but that nigga Obama gone do it. Mark my words.' Kerry lost. But I was on the Obama bandwagon first. Years went by and I dropped the n-bomb from my everyday vocab, only to use the word when explaining its negativity. And Barack Obama...the dude that said that "fir' " speech was running for president. Now, everyone was jumping on his bandwagon. And I admit, I jumped off. I jumped off because my interest in politics had faded. I jumped off because I didnt want to be like most of my peers who I knew were only on the bandwagon because he's black. I jumped off because in his speeches that I witnessed he only spoke of hope, change, and belief and not enough about his plans. I jumped off because I didnt want to fall for another 'false hope' of politics and raise my expectations to see them crushed. I jumped off because he wass too charismatic, and too slick, and too smooth or rather in more popular terms of the day, he had tooo much swag that I didnt want to fall for. But...I started to fall back in line. Maybe, it was the fact that I was seeing him inspire people in a way Ive never seen. Maybe it was seeing his wife praise him at the DNC. So I did what I did...
November 4th when he won, I was excited but he hadnt really gotten me back all the way. I bought my mother an Obama 2009 calendar and Obama painting to hang next to the family portraits and Black Jesus paintings. But Obama didnt have me all the way. Watching him be sworn in yesterday during break at work didnt hit me either. Yet, I was hit....

I was hit when I saw his wife look him proudly and intensely in the eye as he fumbled over the presidential swearing..I was hit when he came out at the Neighborhood Inaugural Ball and the first thing he said was 'How good looking is my wife?'...I was hit when during the first dance they looked in each other's eyes happy...I was hit by BLACK LOVE...

On the way to the new years shindig I intended this year my friend, Simone, declared '2009 is the year of the lover.' Me, my friend Charles, and my friend Henry chuckled in the car at the thought of the ways of love changing this year....but now Obama has made me. believe...believe in BLACK LOVE. An ideal I only could see in Tyler Perry films, Cosby show and Martin reruns, and my parents bedroom. All seeming surreal. I mean, even seeing it in my parents didnt even seem real. It just seem like that was how it was with them. What was real, was what I witnessed with the relationships I had and the relationships Ive watched my peers have. A portrait of no love. A portrait I only saw within my race. A portrait where black people didnt know how to fall in love. Yet, I see that portrait becoming nothing more than a sketch that will soon be thrown away. We now have an example. In the highest office. I see the Obamas making that template. That example. And I see more and more black people tracing that sketch. This is how..

Black men recognize there is nothing more beautiful than a black woman. The one woman who almost every black man respects the most is his mother. A black woman. So it hurts my heart when I hear my black brothers say 'I wanna try a white girl..' or something along that line. Dont get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with relationships injected with jungle fever. Yet, I feel at times my peers turn their back on black woman. One of the most beautiful things about Barack was he chose not only a black wife, but a dark skinned black wife. I admit, I have been trained to view light skinned black women to be typically more attractive. Yet, I will readily say a dark skinned girl is just as beautiful. And black men stop being so picky about looks. I used to have this thing about girls got to have a big booty. Then I realized I wasnt really what they typical girl would drool over in the body department. So I had to not settle but learn to not discriminate over something so simple. Ive learned to like the small things in a black women. Take their personality and future aspirations in more consideration than their current looks. I mean looks is a factor of attraction but its the least denomination in love. So Im looking for someone who can mesh with me and inspire me regardless if they gain weight in the future, or if they have short hair. Regardless, black women are beautiful. And my black brothers should realize this..

Black women recognize there is nothing more beautiful than a black man. Ive recognize black women are less likely to taste the jungle but they dont know how to let a black man know that he is beautiful. One of the wonderful things about Michelle Obama is how willingly she praises her husband. A black man. Too often I hear black women scream 'Niggas aint shit.' Downing the black man. Its one thing for you to call him a nigga. One thing for a black man to believe he is a nigga. But an even worst thing to see his counterpart continuously knock him. This echoed in our ear makes the black man reflect what they hear. Making him careless. Praise him. Give him confidence. A confident man is the most powerful man. And black women stop being so picky. Alot of women miss out on that 'good man' because that 'good man' doesnt fit the mold they typically go for. Ive heard Michelle say that initially she wasnt going to give Barack a chance because she didnt date coworkers and because he seemed like one of those slick player type brothers. Ive read somewhere that Coretta wasnt going to give Martin a cahnce because she thought he was too short and initially she didnt find him to be that attractive. Yet, they both gave their respective men a chance. They stopped being picky and they got that good man. That good black man. Black women stop knocking a man that doesnt fit your description of a black man. So what if he isnt as gangsta as you would like. So what if he isnt as drop dead gorgeous as you feel you deserve to have. If he has real passions for real aspirations and working towards it...If he has a great and respectable personality...give him a chance. Let him know he's beautiful. Realize all black man are beautiful.

Black men realize that a pimp is not a respectable man. Barack is probably admired by every black woman I know. He could probably get every last one of their drawls....lol. He probably knows this. Yet, almost every time I see Barack he finds a way to mention Michelle. He doesnt care about having every woman, he cares about having that one woman. That is enough...I remember watching Martin back in the day and notice how Martin loved the attention he got from female admirers but would readily announce his love for Gina in the face of temptation. I admired that. My father was tall, athletic, chocolate and I would oftentimes notice women looking at him with 'the eye.' I remember at times my mother's cousins and some of friends saying to my mother how attractive they thought he was. Yet, at the same time I would watch my father somehow mention his wife in every conversation he had. Letting it be known. If my father ever craved for another women I can only see him having imaginative sex with the women on those porno movies I stole from his drawer back in the day...lol...I admired that. I admired faithfulness. I was weird growing up because unlike my male peers I never felt the need to try to get every girl in sight. I never felt having sex with tis girl and that girl was a means to brag. I always felt like dating was to find your wife. Your one. Your only one. Last week, I witnessed my 16 year old cousin tease my 17 year old brother because my 17 year old brother is attached to one girl. My 16 yr old cousin told my 17 yr old brother that he was too young too be a one woman man. You gotta experience life. I was sadden by this thought. I believe we as black men need to learn to be one woman men.

Black women realize a black man is not superman. There is no such thing as the perfect man. Even Barack has his faults...I believe alot of women build these expectations for a man because they are afraid of being in a relationship. Thats the only reason I can think of why women make out of the world expectations for men they will date. Don't get me wrong, there should be some expectations. Some standards. But dont make them unreachable. I believe a woman's standards should be either parallel to where they are in are life or just a tad above where they are. Dont put your standards at a place where no one can reach because you know what...no one will. So if youre in college living on your parents money, you cant expect a dude to be balling out this world regardless of what youre used to. You can only expect your mate to be working towards his future like you are. If you dont have a car you cant knock off every man with no car. If youre not this you cant expect him to be that either. Also, you have to realize that a man doesnt know what you expect him to do. All men werent taught to pull out chairs, open every door, or spend a hour on the phone with you. If thats what you want let him know dont just expect it. Dont call him trifling because of it. And dont compare him to your friend's boyfriend who does what you expect. Every man has faults. Black women love black men for their faults. And bring the standards down to reasonable levels.

Black people promote relationships. The number one song that igs the fuck out of me right now is Beyonce's 'Single Ladies.' I hate that song. I hate it with a passion. You know why? Because outside of the annoying screaming, the wack azz chorus, and the irritating beat, I hate the fact that the singer makes women run around praising the fact that theyre single while the singer is...may I say it...MARRIED. I hate when people in relationships say 'I wish I was single.' I hate when single people say 'Im just enjoying the single life.'In actuality, life is not a thing to be enjoyed by yourself. Thats why God always put people to frequent your days in different stages of your life. As a baby you have your mother, your childhood you have your siblings, your teenage years and young adult years its your friends, transstional years its friends and co-workers, adult life its wife/husband and children, old life its husband/wife and eventually grandchildren....Always someone there. Yet the cycle of someone being there will end if you dont get married. You see the older you get the more people get cut out of your life. If you look at your parent social life, alot of you will realize that outside of you and your siblings the only real friends your parents have are each other. So its not meant for us to be single. Its meant for us to find that one. Black people should stop talking just for the purpose of talking. You should talk to find a girl/boyfriend. And date to find a wife/husband.

Spread the idea of good black love to our younger siblings or for those parents to our children. Show your mate love so younger people get the idea. I saw Michelle Obama in an interviewing replying that she and Barack were shocked when one day Malia told them she loved to see them hold hands. I remember as a youngin I would walk in on my young parents showing each other love. I thought it was nasty but it excited me. I loved to see my parents happy with each other. Somehow it always made me happy and want what they want. It influenced me to find my one.

Ands last but not least communicate. I think alot of black love fail because the lack of communication. Stop going on dates to the movies. Go somewhere where you can have fun and TALK. Tell each other how you feel. Alot of miscommunication happen because of the lack of communication. Alot of black love is then lost...

With that said I believe we can have black love. Lets make it popular. Barack and Michelle Obama is black love. Shawn and Beyonce Carter is black love. Heathcliff and Claire Huxtable is black love. Martin and Gina Payne is black love. You know what...those two 16 year olds from Atlanta who gave birth to their first son in 1986. Who had 4 more children together. Who got married in August 1990. Who beat the odds of poverty, teenage parenthood, childhood love and are still together. Michael and Patricia Harper is black love.....

I didnt write this note to gain any popularity amongst the ladies. Know that. I wrote this because I believe in black love. And of all the notes Ive written on facebook, all the messages Ive given, I think the most important message I can give right now can be borrowed from our first family. Black love.
Fin.

2 comments:

Morgan Thomas said...

I totally agree. Beautiful Black Love =)

Da Crew Ent said...
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